"Imperfection is BEAUTY, madness is GENIUS, and it's better to be absolutely RIDICULOUS than absolutely BORING."

Monday, October 6, 2008

Top 10 Things You Never Want to Hear a Guy Say

10. “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
Um, if we knew, we wouldn’t have asked. Plus, there’s nothing sexier than a man who can take the lead and plan a date. (Extra points for taking control after the date, too.)

9. “Shhh the game’s on.”
We get it, sports are important. But shushing us even when it’s a time out is simply unacceptable. Just give us two seconds, and we’ll let you get back to the big game.

8. “Chill Out” or “Relax”
Nothing is more unnerving than being told to calm down. If you had estrogen, you’d get it. And you would also get periods, too

7. “Smell this.”
We don’t want to be treated like one of your guy friends, so asking us to smell the leftover Chinese that’s been in your fridge for 6 months or gross old sneakers is just wrong.

6. “My ex did it this way.”
If you ever say this to us, we have every right to use our teeth

5. “Putting on some pounds, huh?”
The way we feel when someone says this to us is the way you feel when we ask, “Is it in?”

4. “Someone needs to groom down there.”
When you start offering up your junk to a woman named Helga with a vat of hot wax, you can start complaining about an errant hair or two on our body.

3. “I’m not in the mood.”
Really? You’re not? We’ll remind him of that next time you wake us up

2. “Your sister is hot.”
All we have to say is this: If you are dumb enough to go there, you’re going to have to put up with listening to our fantasy that involves your brother.

1. “Are you on your period?”
It doesn’t matter if the answer is yes, no, or almost. Unless you want to buy our tampons from now until we hit menopause, you should avoid asking.